My Crazy Family!

Hi! I've got a whack job family, but I think my Aunt is the nuttiest. So, I've decided to share some stories with you. BloodlessGoddess seems to enjoy them, and I hope you will too.

CHOCOLATE EGGGS?!?!?
I was just getting ready to go to bed, when my aunt screams, "KAYLA! Where are my chocolate EGGS?!?!?!" My cousin Kayla shouted back, "I gave them to you!" My aunt replied, "NO YOU DIDN'T!" Kayla yelled, "Yes I did!" My aunt now screeched, "NO YOU ATE THEM! YOU ATE HALF OF ONE AND I WANT THE OTHER HALF!!!!" My cousin just screamed, "MOM!" By this time, me and my mom were cracking up. So my aunt started shouting for my mom. "JACKIE! Where are all the CHOCOLATE EGGS?!" And my mom yells back, "YOU ATE THEM ALL!" My aunt made a loud noise I can only describe as "UGH!" while me and my mom cracked up.

Missing Cupcake
In the morning I go to eat a cupcake. My mom had gone to a party at her work yesterday, and she had brought me cake and such to satisfy my sugar addiction. So, I go downstairs and my aunt's there. She's just watching TV. I open the door to find my cupcake, but theres only half there. "Who ate the other half of my cupcake?" I asked. My aunt appeared behind me, patted her stomach and replied, "Thats too much sugar for you anyway."

Thats all I've got for now. I'd like to hear some stories about your crazy family too, so I know I'm NOT alone here. Besides, this will give us all a good laugh later....maybe....Darn it! I WANT THAT CUPCAKE!!!

abreu7 wrote:Hi! I've got a whack job family, but I think my Aunt is the nuttiest. So, I've decided to share some stories with you. BloodlessGoddess seems to enjoy them, and I hope you will too.

CHOCOLATE EGGGS?!?!?
I was just getting ready to go to bed, when my aunt screams, "KAYLA! Where are my chocolate EGGS?!?!?!" My cousin Kayla shouted back, "I gave them to you!" My aunt replied, "NO YOU DIDN'T!" Kayla yelled, "Yes I did!" My aunt now screeched, "NO YOU ATE THEM! YOU ATE HALF OF ONE AND I WANT THE OTHER HALF!!!!" My cousin just screamed, "MOM!" By this time, me and my mom were cracking up. So my aunt started shouting for my mom. "JACKIE! Where are all the CHOCOLATE EGGS?!" And my mom yells back, "YOU ATE THEM ALL!" My aunt made a loud noise I can only describe as "UGH!" while me and my mom cracked up.

Missing Cupcake
In the morning I go to eat a cupcake. My mom had gone to a party at her work yesterday, and she had brought me cake and such to satisfy my sugar addiction. So, I go downstairs and my aunt's there. She's just watching TV. I open the door to find my cupcake, but theres only half there. "Who ate the other half of my cupcake?" I asked. My aunt appeared behind me, patted her stomach and replied, "Thats too much sugar for you anyway."

Thats all I've got for now. I'd like to hear some stories about your crazy family too, so I know I'm NOT alone here. Besides, this will give us all a good laugh later....maybe....Darn it! I WANT THAT CUPCAKE!!!

XDDD

that made me crack up. x'D

Wow.. I suppose chocolate eggs are a big deal to your aunt and cousin... XD

Mercy wrote:Wow.. I suppose chocolate eggs are a big deal to your aunt and cousin... XD

Nope, just my aunt. She hijacks ALL my chocolate. In the fridge, secret stashes, back up secret stashes, SUPER secret stashes. She finds it all!

abreu7 wrote:

Mercy wrote:Wow.. I suppose chocolate eggs are a big deal to your aunt and cousin... XD

Nope, just my aunt. She hijacks ALL my chocolate. In the fridge, secret stashes, back up secret stashes, SUPER secret stashes. She finds it all!

Haha sounds like my dad. He has secret MnM stashes all around the house. I know where each one is but he's pretty sneaky about it. The bad part is sometimes he forgets where the MnMs are... So we have MnMs scattered pretty much all over the place. It's amazing we aren't all fat yet lol.

Chocolate Eggs...
Some stay dry and others drive the pegs
Chocolate Eggs...!
A baby born will die before the sin

I think you killed this thread with that right there, Snake.

MY FAMILY RIPS THE SACKS OFF OF KANGAROOS AND KICK PUPPIES!! On saturdays its kitties.

Ok! You've already heard this one, Ab:

My Aunt has flown from the airport in Atlanta only twice-- yet both times she has done a crash landing. The first time was just a normal crash landing in the united states, whereas the 2nd time the plane was hijacked, taken to Cuba, and ended up doing a crash landing, where officers helped them all get back to the United States. She says she will never go to the Atlanta airport ever again.

I'll go ask her for more of her life stories! ^_^

Charm wrote:Ok! You've already heard this one, Ab:

My Aunt has flown from the airport in Atlanta only twice-- yet both times she has done a crash landing. The first time was just a normal crash landing in the united states, whereas the 2nd time the plane was hijacked, taken to Cuba, and ended up doing a crash landing, where officers helped them all get back to the United States. She says she will never go to the Atlanta airport ever again.

I'll go ask her for more of her life stories! ^_^

Epic

archiesangel wrote:

Charm wrote:Ok! You've already heard this one, Ab:

My Aunt has flown from the airport in Atlanta only twice-- yet both times she has done a crash landing. The first time was just a normal crash landing in the united states, whereas the 2nd time the plane was hijacked, taken to Cuba, and ended up doing a crash landing, where officers helped them all get back to the United States. She says she will never go to the Atlanta airport ever again.

I'll go ask her for more of her life stories! ^_^

Epic

I know, right? Some people have all the fun. >.<


Oh! Here's a story about my friend Chloie! :D Chloie is my good friend, and practically like my sister. Now, she has one big problem: She's like a stalker MAGNET.

Instance 1: She was walking along with Janie, when suddenly a hobo comes out and says "Hey, do you guys want to get a drink from my water fountain? It's just upstairs, and it's so hot out today." as he said this, he pointed to his little apartment in the alleyway. "Umm, no thank you." replied Chloie, taking a few steps back. "Are you sure?" the man said a bit too enthusiastically, as he began walking quickly towards her. "Yes, I'm sure!" she said politely, and the two of them took off down the street, leaving the man behind.

Instance 2: Chloie is at a restaurant with her cousin, who keeps flirting with the waiter. Finally, after the meal is done, Chloie says she'll be waiting in the car, and goes outside. She gets in the car, and begins listening to some music. Some man hobbles out of the restaurant a short while later, looking very drunk. He walks over to HER car, and begins fixing his hair and checking his teeth in the car mirror. Chloie locks the doors quickly, and he suddenly notices her. He then smiles, a big, grimy grin, then begins fixing his hair in the reflection in her window. She stares at him, and he suddenly winks at her, and begins jiggling the car handle. It's obviously locked, so he gives up, and goes back to fixing his hair in the window. "Get away from her!!!" Chloie's cousin yells upon seeing the man near the car. He quickly takes off running.


Poor Chloie, and those are just 2 instances of many, MANY problems she's had with random guys.

LOL abreu, you gotta love your family XD
that stuff's hilarious

Charm wrote:

archiesangel wrote:

Charm wrote:Ok! You've already heard this one, Ab:

My Aunt has flown from the airport in Atlanta only twice-- yet both times she has done a crash landing. The first time was just a normal crash landing in the united states, whereas the 2nd time the plane was hijacked, taken to Cuba, and ended up doing a crash landing, where officers helped them all get back to the United States. She says she will never go to the Atlanta airport ever again.

I'll go ask her for more of her life stories! ^_^

Epic

I know, right? Some people have all the fun. >.<


Oh! Here's a story about my friend Chloie! :D Chloie is my good friend, and practically like my sister. Now, she has one big problem: She's like a stalker MAGNET.

Instance 1: She was walking along with Janie, when suddenly a hobo comes out and says "Hey, do you guys want to get a drink from my water fountain? It's just upstairs, and it's so hot out today." as he said this, he pointed to his little apartment in the alleyway. "Umm, no thank you." replied Chloie, taking a few steps back. "Are you sure?" the man said a bit too enthusiastically, as he began walking quickly towards her. "Yes, I'm sure!" she said politely, and the two of them took off down the street, leaving the man behind.

Instance 2: Chloie is at a restaurant with her cousin, who keeps flirting with the waiter. Finally, after the meal is done, Chloie says she'll be waiting in the car, and goes outside. She gets in the car, and begins listening to some music. Some man hobbles out of the restaurant a short while later, looking very drunk. He walks over to HER car, and begins fixing his hair and checking his teeth in the car mirror. Chloie locks the doors quickly, and he suddenly notices her. He then smiles, a big, grimy grin, then begins fixing his hair in the reflection in her window. She stares at him, and he suddenly winks at her, and begins jiggling the car handle. It's obviously locked, so he gives up, and goes back to fixing his hair in the window. "Get away from her!!!" Chloie's cousin yells upon seeing the man near the car. He quickly takes off running.


Poor Chloie, and those are just 2 instances of many, MANY problems she's had with random guys.

Wow that's really creepy o.O

Ghost, yep. I DO love my family. But it's not really a choice, I've come to love the whackjobs I got placed with. Then again, I doubt I classify as normal meself.

GAH! GUM!

My Mom, my cousin Kayla and me (Sick and sneezing and not even wanting to be here!) were at the mall. My mom gave me 3 quarters to go get each of us a gumball. I pop mine into my mouth, my cousin does the same but my mom pauses. "Tiffany, don't ever do what I'm about to do." She ordered. She spit out some mint chewing gum she had onto the floor, replacing it with the gumball. Well, we were at a kind of vendor stand so my cousin and mom were admiring the jewelery. I was bored and stared walking around them in circles when I had some trouble lifting up my shoe. I look down, its got gum stuck to it. "Mom!" I cry out. My mom and cousin crack up, I scowl and easily slid the gum off my shoe. "Careful." I warn my cousin.

Exactly 6 minutes later, my cousin got stuck on the gum.

"Tia!" She cried. (Tia = Spanish for Aunt.) My mom and I start laughing. "Thats it! You two are officially dumb." She giggles. She moves on to looking at jewelry. My cousin can't get the gum off. "Just slide it off like this!" I kept telling her. Finally, my mom comes over and rubs her sandal against my cousin's shoe so the gum gets stuck to her. "The one time I do something wrong, this happens." She grumbles. She picks the gum off with her hand, throws it on the floor, and we quickly walk away from the little stand.

I point out a trashcan a good 12 feet from the stand to my mom that she must not have noticed.

This only could happen to me and my family. xD

abreu7 wrote:Ghost, yep. I DO love my family. But it's not really a choice, I've come to love the whackjobs I got placed with. Then again, I doubt I classify as normal meself.

GAH! GUM!

My Mom, my cousin Kayla and me (Sick and sneezing and not even wanting to be here!) were at the mall. My mom gave me 3 quarters to go get each of us a gumball. I pop mine into my mouth, my cousin does the same but my mom pauses. "Tiffany, don't ever do what I'm about to do." She ordered. She spit out some mint chewing gum she had onto the floor, replacing it with the gumball. Well, we were at a kind of vendor stand so my cousin and mom were admiring the jewelery. I was bored and stared walking around them in circles when I had some trouble lifting up my shoe. I look down, its got gum stuck to it. "Mom!" I cry out. My mom and cousin crack up, I scowl and easily slid the gum off my shoe. "Careful." I warn my cousin.

Exactly 6 minutes later, my cousin got stuck on the gum.

"Tia!" She cried. (Tia = Spanish for Aunt.) My mom and I start laughing. "Thats it! You two are officially dumb." She giggles. She moves on to looking at jewelry. My cousin can't get the gum off. "Just slide it off like this!" I kept telling her. Finally, my mom comes over and rubs her sandal against my cousin's shoe so the gum gets stuck to her. "The one time I do something wrong, this happens." She grumbles. She picks the gum off with her hand, throws it on the floor, and we quickly walk away from the little stand.

I point out a trashcan a good 12 feet from the stand to my mom that she must not have noticed.

This only could happen to me and my family. xD

O_O Can't...................stop..............laughing...............

We recently had a very terrifying family project.

Knock the big ass wasp nest down from the roof without getting stung too many times! (Sounds like a game show to me XD!!)

Since my dad is allergic, he couldn't help so it was up to my bros, my mom and I to knock the sucker down! It was about a good 15 feet above our heads, so we couldn't just get a broom and knock it down. First, we started by throwing our shoes at it. We'd throw it up, and run like hell. Course, my brother James' hand slipped and he accidentally smapped himself. After that was an immediate fail, we resorted to airsoft guns. Not. Smart. At. All. The pellets just got stuck in the nest and pissed off the wasps even more! Plus, whenever we missed, it would just ricochet off the wall and hit us in the face. My mom, being the smarts of us all, came up with the idea to tie the broom, and some weird gardening tool that was long and had a saw at the end of it, together, and jab it at the nest. It worked. Holy sh*t, when that nest fell, everyone was screaming like girls when the swarm came after us. Thank you garage!


Another one is when I walked into the kitchen, and my two brothers(same age as me) were having a eggsalad fight. They each had a bowl of the stuff in their hands, and they just kinda stared at me. I would have just left right then if it wasn't for the fact that they were fighting with EGGS! Details aside, lets just say that after, the cleaning was hell x_x

New years of '09 my cousin Nick was over. And he got totally drunk like he was OUT of it. And my other cousin (I have a gazillion of them!) and I were doing this skit for everybody that was over and we had recruited a family friend to play a part as a cannibal. Don't ask.... o.O lol but yeah then the friend wouldn't do it and told us to get Nick to do it. So we grabbed him and told him what to do and in the middle of the skit, he randomly comes out and is like "IMMA gonna EAT chu.... ARRRRRRRRHGH!" He was totally early and he started dancing around beating his chest yelling "AHHHHHRRRRGHHHH!!!!" I used to have a picture.... but I can't find it. Total blackmail =D

my family is weird by.... well they're just weird :D