End Roleplay discussion-

Hmm, what the heck, I'll unlock it.

Could have just asked Karmy :/

Well, no one was on at the time and when y'all were, I forgot to ask... Sorry

PENCILS KARMMS!

Mercy wrote:Though I think there just had to be some other points where people decided to give up. We had about 30 characters and only 13 or 14 came out in the end. Adela, Syran, Kahna, and Carafrost were some characters that were dropped all together among others. Though I can't put my finger on it.. Must have just been boring at points.

Yeah I'm really sorry about that. It was my first RP and I was really excited about it but my limited time on the computer slowed me down so that I missed so much that it really wasn't worth it. When I get more time, I will probably try another one because it was alot of fun just not right now. Sorry for dropping out D=

archiesangel wrote:

Mercy wrote:Though I think there just had to be some other points where people decided to give up. We had about 30 characters and only 13 or 14 came out in the end. Adela, Syran, Kahna, and Carafrost were some characters that were dropped all together among others. Though I can't put my finger on it.. Must have just been boring at points.

Yeah I'm really sorry about that. It was my first RP and I was really excited about it but my limited time on the computer slowed me down so that I missed so much that it really wasn't worth it. When I get more time, I will probably try another one because it was alot of fun just not right now. Sorry for dropping out D=

Ohhh no no no! Not your fault at all! Dude, its alright! Everyone enjoyed it, wish you were more apart of it though. Hope you get more time later on!

Hahahaha you said Dude XD

I'm very sad to see DRP going, I really enjoyed that one ;=;

8 threads.
9 months.
7368 posts.
Over 64,000 views.
The most longest going, most posts and views, with the most threads this side of the forums had ever seen, and the most successful Roleplay ended last night.

So, lets open discussion for The Darkest of Knights.

Where was it strong? Where was it weak?

DOK was awesome.

Point blank.

Great ideas, great characters, and great writers. Everyone in the RP contributed something to it, even if they don't think so, they did.

I was doing math homework and, once again, got distracted. So I came onto the forums and, for some reason, I read the last few posts of ARP... Don't ask me why, I just did. But anyway, when I read my last post in that RP, I realized, "Wow, did I really write that?! Its so.. bad!" Grammar mistakes all over the floor and I could definitely fix up the details and everything. So, well, I plan on fixing it for funsies and posting it later! I mean, ever since we started these Roleplays, I think that everyone has improved in their writing skills.

So I have a challenge for you guys.

Find an old post in any of the Roleplays that you believe you can improve, and revise it!

Post the original and then the newly revised post, as well as what Roleplay it was in.

Silly? Yes.

Fun? Possibly.

Stupid? Probably

Pointless? That's up to you.

Fishing4Karma wrote:I was doing math homework and, once again, got distracted. So I came onto the forums and, for some reason, I read the last few posts of ARP... Don't ask me why, I just did. But anyway, when I read my last post in that RP, I realized, "Wow, did I really write that?! Its so.. bad!" Grammar mistakes all over the floor and I could definitely fix up the details and everything. So, well, I plan on fixing it for funsies and posting it later! I mean, ever since we started these Roleplays, I think that everyone has improved in their writing skills.

So I have a challenge for you guys.

Find an old post in any of the Roleplays that you believe you can improve, and revise it!

Post the original and then the newly revised post, as well as what Roleplay it was in.

Silly? Yes.

Fun? Possibly.

Stupid? Probably

Pointless? That's up to you.

Amazingly, I haven't seen this post until now. A little late, but I accept your challenge! And since you don't seem to like your's(Which I really do like), I'm revisin' it first. ^^
From ARP:

Karmy's Final Words wrote:

Karmy stood watching as one by one, the team left. Finally, everyone was gone and she was the last one standing on top of the roof. "Well.. Fun is fun and done is done." she whispered as she looked upon the setting sun. With a deep sigh, she dove off the roof and into a portal. She knew where she was going, but she would never see it for as soon as she landed, a burlap sack was shoved roughly over head. Someone grabbed her hands before she could snap her fingers to get away. She kicked wildly as she felt herself hoisted up by the back of her shirt, her screams muffled. An all too familiar voice whispered in her ear before she felt a hard hit to the back of her head and her world faded into nothing;

"Gotcha'."

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

New One:

Karmy watched as the team departed, one by one, deserting what had been their home for what had seemed so little time now. Before long, she was the last one on the roof, her only company the setting sun. "Well...Fun is fun and done is done." She whispered with an air of finality, turning to the edge of the building. With a deep sigh, she dove off the side and-snap- landed in her portal. The teen knew her destination, but it was one she would never see. As soon as her feet touched solid ground, a burlap sack was roughly pulled over her head. Hands grabbed at her own, ousting her of her only chance of escape. She struggled and screeched as somebody hoisted her up by the back of her shirt. Her screams were muffled, and she knew nobody would hear. An all too familiar voice whispered into her ear, "Gotcha."

A hard smack to her head and her world faded into nothing.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

Goddamn I love ya Abs....

Glad to see I wasn't the only one who wanted to improve this post! Though, I meant improve one of your own posts, but this works all the better I should look for the revised version of that I did...

I love ya too, Karms!

Actually, I liked your original post just fine! I only revised it because I don't even want to try and look at what crap I've left behind. Besides, you mentioned your's so it was the first one that came to mind.

And...sorry. I didn't realize it had to be my own post. I just saw "An old post". Not, "One of your old posts". I'll try one of my own later.

No no no don't be sorry! I think your idea is much better. You can revise anyone's post! Well, maybe ask them first. I don't mind at all, ever, but, yeah, it's more polite to ask them. I guess :T

Fishing4Karma wrote: Well, maybe ask them first.

Yeeeaaaah, that's probably a good idea...*Feels stupid*

(For future reference: Anyone can revise my posts, if they like...)

Dont feel stupid D: I love you for doing that! Though, I loved you before that so... Yeah I'm confused

XD....Love ya, too Karms.

Now that our back-and-forth has brought attention back to the challenge, I wonder who if/when anyone will edit next o.o

Dun dun duuuunnnnnnn!!

I probably should, but I'm just a lazy bum right now :T

Mercy wrote:"We met each other last week Nightstalker. Still thats a pretty stupid name you gave yourself." Malice mocked as she walked past her "So what are you doing here Nightstalker? You don't seem so confident. You look like you have no idea what you're doing child." She said as spiteful as she could.

Malice kicked Nightstalker in the balls.

SO...

Yesterday I trotted in on Karm and Merc chatting about what our ARP characters would play-Instrument wise. I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head ever since and, anyway, it's great practice for putting sound into words.

Guess who's playing what; it shouldn't be too hard.

Karms, Merc, I hope you don't mind me stealing your idears here...

Spoiler:

Wow I can't believe I thought this post was good back then. Not only am I seeing grammatical errors all over the floor, but character inconsistencies. Of course I didn't really know my characters all too well myself... But here it goes... The Introduction to Barbara Gordon and Alice Mau in The Darkest of Knights.

Mercy wrote:At the Gotham City Police Department, the entire place was going haywire. "Chief we just lost satellite!" One said, "Our landline communication is offline!" Said another. "We're losing feed on the streets sir!!" The Chief looked around. "Well get it back! What's going on around here?" He screamed furiously. "No idea sir... we're losing all radio contact to. Must be a bug in the system." The Chief of Police face palmed. "Okay some mechanic in the communications room, stat!" "Sir!"

Barbara and Alice walked out very quietly, nearly tiptoing. "C'mon let's hurry." Barbara said swiftly stride forward and bumped into the mechanic. "Ms. Gordon!?" The strong southern accent rang in her head. "You alright Babs?" Alice asked helping her to her feet. "I'm fine... Officer Bard?"
"Ms. Gordon! It is you!"
"Call me Barbara, Officer.."
"And you call me Jason! What are you doing here? Its been months!"
"Uhh, this is my associate and uhh.. Babysitter. Alice, Alice Mau. I was showing her around."
"Babysitter?"
"Yeah, for Nicole.. She thinks she's old enough by now but Dick doesn't trust her."
"Oh yeah yeah.. Man what a terrible time for a tour, oh! So sorry to hear about your dad Ms. Gordon! We'll catch that bat once n' for all. You don't have to worry about a thing!"
"Yeah.. Worry."
Just then the Chief of Police came up to them. "Bard!! What're you doing?! Get to the communications room! Now Bard! Now!!" He screamed. "Gah!! Sorry sir! Just catching up with an old friend and I was-" "I don't care Bard! Hurry up! We're wasting time!!" "Yes sir!" Officer Bard replied and hurried off. The Chief of Police turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction. 

"Babysitter?" Asked Alice. 
"It was the best I can come up with." Barbara replied.

Boys don't cry. Men on the other hand, do. And was Bullock crying right now. He had been forced under the quick decision to take upon the title of the Commissioner of Police, bring under Commissioner Gordon's lead, and his right hand man for years. Though he was never prepared to take James' job. Not only did he lose a friend and take his job, the police station was booming. The years busiest, Batman offs the Commissioner. Not only that but the overload was causing extremely strange activity in the police station's communications. 

"Dammit."
"What is it?"
"There's a lock in the code, we have to access the source grid to hack into the mainframe if we want to take out their communications temporarily."
"You sure he's innocent?"
"Dick wouldn't do that. That's completely irrational. So are you coming or what?"
"Are you okay?"
 
There was a pause between the two, sitting in a 2030 Mustang, a hundred yards from the police station with laptops warm, but closed, Barbara was focused on the matter at hand; her eyes aiming to her next destination, she wanted to get the job done without any questions asked. Blind faith and lost love tampers with the brain and deteriorates the mind. Imagine if your the person you most cared about was accused for killing your father. Well it wouldn't make sense if the person you most cared about was your father: that's not my point. Barbara had been caught in the crossfire between Dick and the murder of her father, the main suspect being Batman.

"I'm fine." Barbara opened the car door and stepped out. "We can't hack it from here. We need to be up close and personal." she said ignoring Alice, her worried companion. 

The brisk walk in the cold winds of November in Gotham to the police station was quiet as far as conversation went. The rest of the city was in proverbial flames, screaming and drunken lullabies could be heard in the distance by gym class heroes. It always seemed to be the end of the world for Gotham. 

Barbara and Alice walked in, hands in their pockets and looking about, their eyes darting left and right. The women had canvas bags slung over their shoulders. No one was at the front desk. Perfect. Without saying a word, they moved in, infiltrating the station was easier than it sounded. Barbara; having spent most of her days waiting for her dad in the station after school when she was in middle school. Her photographic memory aided her every turn; up the stairs, down the right hall, and the last door on left. 

"Is anyone coming?"
"No. Hurry up and open the door."
"One sec."

Barbara knelt on one knee and pulled out skeleton keys while Alice surveyed the vicinity, making sure no one was watching. The work they had accomplished from Alice's car. Taking out all phone lines and cameras around the city was easy, the real problem was their reinforced radio communications. 

A unsettling click of the door and Barbara looked up to Alice; standing up "We're in, let's go." 

The police station was soon going haywire, as all the wifi network crashed and further landline communications ceased. Bullock wiped his hair back and turned to the closest officer to him, Detective Jason Bard. "What the hell is going on Bard?" he asked, circles under his eyes. "I don't know Bullock... Commissioner..." Jason replied as he looked out of his office window, everyone yelling at each other, papers flying in the air, moving back and forth. "Go check the mainframe on the second floor Bard." Bullock said softly. "Sir." He nodded. 

Jason meandered down through the sea of chaos which was the third floor of The Gotham City Police Department, his mind was being racked by the screaming, the confusion. His eyes were glued to the hardwood floors, one hand over his forehead, another feeling his fob for his master key. Just then, he collided with someone else, his head banging hard against another, the redhead fell to the floor as Bard backed away in pain. 

"Aw sh*t, I'm an idiot! I'm really sorry-..." he paused in mid-sentence as he stretched his arm out to help her up, realizing who he bumped into. "Ms. Gordon? What are you doing here?"
"Looking for my dad with my friend, Alice. Alice Jason, Jason Alice. Have you seen him?" She explained taking Bard's hand. 
"Ms. Gordon..."
"Babs will do." 
"Ms. Gordon, you know what happened."
"And I don't believe it. Jason, where's my father?" Barbara asked, directly, with a straight face. Tearing up slowly.
"He's dead. I've seen him with my own eyes." The blond detective looked down to avoid Barbara's gaze. 

Alice put a comforting hand over her shoulder, "C'mon. Let's go." Alice said warming her up. Barbara covered her face as Alice directed her to the exit. Jason stood there, his hands in his pockets, looking down at the glossy wooden floors, blissfully unaware that the "smoking hot redhead" he just broke bad news to the point she cried had just taken down GCPD's entire communication network.